


Memories

by Shadow_crawler



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 15:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15888399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_crawler/pseuds/Shadow_crawler
Summary: John forgets the people around him.





	Memories

John smiled up at Carson as he rubbed where the needle had just been. “Thanks, doc.”

Carson smiled and nodded but glanced at Rodney, Teyla, and Ronon before moving away to test the blood sample. Rodney stepped forward, “John?”

“Mm?”

“How are you feeling?”

“Kinda fuzzy, why?”

“You, uh, been out for awhile.”

“Wow, was I super tired or something?”

Rodney looked at Teyla and said, “You got hit by that energy beam from that machine. Remember?”

John frowned then shook his head. “Nah, nothing. Must be an adverse reaction? Oh well, maybe it wasn’t that important.”

“John, do you know who this is?” Teyla asked and held up a picture she’d snatched off his dresser.

John pursed his lips, obviously thinking. “Nope. Who is he?”

“That’s your brother, John.”

“I have a brother? Cool!”

“Todd. Todd maybe you should wait.” The gang turned to see Carson trying to catch the sleeves of the wraith’s coat but he shrugged the doctor off and side stepped around Keller, headed for John’s bed.

“John.” Todd said, stopping next to the foot of the bed.

“Who are you?”

Todd’s eyes widened and he looked like he’d just been slapped. “You call me Todd. It holds significance from your past.”

“Hm. I don’t know anyone by that name.” John looked at Teyla, “Wait, isn’t that your name?”

“I’m Teyla.”

“Oh. Got close.”

“What is going on?” Todd asked.

Keller cleared her throat and gestured him to follow her. She spoke in a hushed voice after they’d walked a few steps, “Some machine started to overpower. Rodney couldn’t shut it down and John shoved him out of the way when it went off, taking the brunt of the energy output. As far as we can tell, he’s forgotten people he knew. And some other random events but it seems to be centered on people. We have scientists studying the machine but…” Keller looked at John, “He hasn’t remembered anyone yet.”

^^^^^^^^^^

John was released a few hours later, after the two co-head doctors decided they couldn’t do much to help him currently so there was no point holding him. He was happy to have Teyla and Torren, mostly Torren, show him to his room even though John insisted he knew where it was. He said he was going to take a nap, hadn’t slept well in the infirmary, so they left him to be alone.

Todd found him on the balcony instead. The balcony they would usually watch the sunsets or sunrises on together. John just looked at Todd as he walked over to the railing next to him. The sun glancing off the water hurt Todd’s eyes but he wanted the excuse to be next to John.

“Were we close?” John whispered, looking up at Todd with worry.

“Yes.”

“I knew it.” John hissed, swinging his head back out to look across Atlantis.

“Do you remember something?”

“No. I can tell by how you’ve been acting. That there was…something. God,” John grabbed his head in both hands, “I can’t remember anything. It’s not even vague semblance, there’s nothing. It’s-it’s like taking a test and you know the answer but can’t remember. It’s supposed to be there but isn’t. I feel like I’m letting everyone down.”

“You are not letting me down, John Sheppard.”

“I can see the pain on your face.” John grumbled. “There’s these pictures in my room and I have no idea who any of them are. Random, Tora, and Ramsey-“

“They’re-never mind.”

“-told me they’re my friends and I trusted them so went back with them and I remember Atlantis and all of this and how the gate works and what we’re doing out here and why but nothing of the people. Why just the people? What’s the point of an ancient device that erases memories of people?”

Todd stood there and let John go off. Frankly, not being able to remember was odd to him, wraith had photographic memories and it may take a bit to remember something not used often or from long ago but it was unheard of to forget something among their kind. He was having a hard time wrapping his head around the concept of not knowing something he once did.

“Woodsey seems to expect something from me and I know I’m the military commander but he won’t let me do something as if faces affect how I do my job. So Thorn is doing everything and I’m stuck here screaming at the ocean.”

“You got very close that time.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“No. No, if we were so close, you at least owe me an answer! Don’t start treating me like a child like everyone else!”

“The names were close that time. You very close with ‘Woolsey’.”

“Shit, that’s his name. Tom?”

“Who?”

“You.”

“Todd.”

“Right, right. Why did I name you that?”

“I don’t fully understand myself.”

“But you know the story?”

“Somewhat. He was someone you learned with.”

John’s face scrunched up and he went quiet. “Nope. Nothing. damn.” He punctuated by slapping his hand on the railing. “You know what’s weirder? I know there were other people on Atlantis with me, it’s the logical thought, but I don’t remember any of them. Not even ghosts or faceless people passing me in the hallways. Just…nothing. I don’t get the feeling I was alone, but there was no one else here.”

“Do you know how long you’ve been here?”

“Going on seven years. Well, except that brief time the Altoids kicked us off.” Todd snorted and John narrowed his eyes at him. “What now?”

“Ancients. I do not know what an ‘altoid’ is.”

“A mint? Have I never given you a mint?”

“Yes, but I don’t know those kind.”

“They come in little metal boxes. Someone here has to have some, come on.”

^^^^^^^^^^

“I know her.”

Keller looked up in shock. “What? Who?”

John blinked at her, looking just as confused. “I have no idea. You just-you said that and I…I don’t know. I…felt something, I guess.”

Keller looked at the retreating back of the scientist she’d just handed headache medicine too. “I don’t think you ever worked with her. I could be wrong. I can catch up with her and ask…?”

“No, there’s no need.” John frowned at the ground. “I just can’t get that name out of my head.”

“Eliza?”

“Elizabeth. Elizabeth Weed.”

“So close.”

^^^^^^^^^^

“Do we have anything of Dr. Weir’s?”

“Doctor, I’m in middle of a meeting here-“

“John remembered something, do we have anything of hers?”

Woolsey looked at Teyla then pushed away from his desk and stood up. As he walked around it, he said, “Everything of hers was shipped back to her mother but we have a few old pictures that were considered security breaches.” He rustled through the filing cabinet and brought out a thin folder.

Keller snatched the entire thing but Teyla caught her arm before she could leave. “I can do better.”

^^^^^^^^^^

 

John sat cross legged on the floor with his back against the bed and a child in his lap. Rodney was on the bed pretending to be busy working but actually watching intently, Ronon was leaning against a wall, Todd on the floor leaning against the foot of the bed, Keller sitting in the chair by the desk, and Teyla handing John a worn, bound book as she crouched to sit across from him.

Teyla flipped to the first page for him and a picture protected in glossy pages looked back at him. A date underneath it said ‘April 2006.’ John was close-lip smiling, arm slung over a woman with shoulder length, curly brown hair. On his right was Rodney, looking uncomfortable, and Ronon, sans a few tattoos, stood behind him. On Elizabeth’s left was Teyla, hair longer than it was now. They stood on the balcony outside the control room.

“Tell us what you can.” Teyla said. “We can fill in the rest.”

John glanced up at her then back down at the picture. “Well that’s me, obviously.” He kept staring at the brunette woman, feeling choked up and he didn’t know why. “Th-that’s you. There’s Ramsey-“

“Rodney.”

“Rodney. Ramen.”

“Ronon.”

“Ronon. And…” His finger landed on Elizabeth.

He didn’t know he had tears prickling his eyes until Tommy in his lap reached up and patted his cheek. John smiled down at him and flipped the page without naming who she was. The next one was Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney laughing at a table in the cafeteria. John smiled at it and turned to the next one.

Teyla was making a weird face and holding up a peace sign. Ronon was leaning into the camera, sticking his mouth out like he was going to kiss it, and making a ‘rock n roll’ hand gesture.

The next one was John and Ronon holding hands and looking like they were waltzing in the gate room. The military guys in the background were laughing.

John asleep and Ronon holding a finger in his mouth in the universal ‘quiet’ gesture as he drew on John’s face. John glared at Ronon, who smiled innocently.

Right after that, Ronon had whip cream on his face and in his hair, looking very annoyed, and Elizabeth and John losing it in the background. John had to tear himself from staring at her again to go to the next picture.

Rodney hunched over his desk, asleep, and Teyla with a hand on his back, checking on him.

“We carried Romney back to his room.” John whispered.

“Rod-“ Rodney’s voice died when Teyla glared at him.

Elizabeth looking out at Atlantis, haloed by the sunset.

Elizabeth and Teyla eating, obviously captured sneakily by half the picture being taken up by a blurry skin-colored mass.

Elizabeth in a birthday hat, which John had just snapped on, overlooking the gate and dozens of people holding presents and in middle of shouting ‘Happy Birthday!’

“She’s dead.” John said. “Right?”

“Yes.” Teyla replied

He rubbed his eyes. “I miss her.”

“That’s good.”

“We all do.” Ronon said.

Ronon with his hair unbraided and loose, it all wavy and poofy and overtaking everything around him. His face wasn’t visible but he still looked like he was laughing.

No, he had been laughing. He’d found shaking his head and his hair moving like it was underwater hilarious. It had taken half an hour of multiple people working on those braids to undo all of them then an hour more of John, Teyla, and another volunteer to braid them all again.

A blond woman, eyes squeezed shut but still grinning and entire body tense, as water is dumped on her from behind.

“Sam. She’s not dead.”

“No.”

Todd, hands restrained at his hips, standing over Rodney, who looked terrified, hissing. Rodney had insisted they delete that picture when John had happened to snap it and almost fallen down laughing. John had told him he had and apparently never told him otherwise by how Rodney just squeaked behind him. John turned the page quickly.

Teyla, noticeable baby bump, being held up on Ronon’s shoulder.

Radek the time he’d gone to the children planet and came back with colors all over his face and his hair done up horrible, looking just as angry about it as when he’d stepped through the gate.

The biology lab, a bug in a clear container in the foreground and John staring at it in suspicion in the background as he waited for Rodney to stop talking with the biology woman he’d been dating at the time.

One of the military lieutenants kicking a bell over her head with legs in a straight line. John remembered losing his mind when she managed that. It had been one of Ronon’s stupid Satedan challenges to hit the bell without arms or head. He’d done a flip and kicked it that way.

An infant Torren laying in Rodney’s arms, fast asleep. Rodney was looking down at him with a soft smile.

John and Todd holding toddler Torren’s hands as they walked down the hall. They were both stooped to reach the kid’s arms.

Three wraith stuffed in a small corner, all asleep.

Ember with flowers braided in his hair.

Ronon with flowers braided in his hair, looking slightly more annoyed but faking it.

Woolsey in middle of walking into his office when the open doorway had been saran wrapped.

Radek standing in front of the door to his lab and balloons still spilling out at his feet. Ronon and Teal’c were in the corner of the picture trying not to laugh.

Lorne and his team coming through the active gate from a relatively easy mission.

One of the portraits Lorne had been doing in his free time and started hanging on the walls.

A series of pictures of John, Ronon, and colonel Mitchell from SG-1 in zero gravity spelling out ATLANTIS.

A more present-day Torren very angrily trying to put the square block in the round hole.

Todd in the lab with Torren sitting on his shoulders. Torren was pointing at something and Todd was reaching for it, probably explaining what it was as simply as he could to a two year old.

An alien planet, their leader holding his hand out to shake Rodney’s, who was looking horrified at the camera. The man had just spit into his hand before reaching out, a custom to seal deals they hadn’t known about until just then.

Teyla, holding Torren, pointing up at a shelf and Ronon reaching up without even needing to go on his toes to grab it.

An Earth picture, John pointing at Neil deGrasse Tyson in middle of saying, “That’s Neil deGrasse Tyson!”

The next one much the same only Bill Nye this time. This one featuring Rodney looking perturbed in the background.

Another group photo, Todd on the left, then John holding Torren, Teyla, Ronon behind again, Rodney, Keller, Woolsey, Carson, and Zelenka.

The rest of the photo pockets were empty and John went back to the last one.

“I remember you guys.”

**Author's Note:**

> I definitely didn't cry writing this what are you talking about.


End file.
